CEO Coaching: What Would Jim Do? The Invisible Coach

I often talk with clients about avatars. No, not the blue aliens or virtual reality characters. I’m stretching the term a bit here. In Hinduism, an avatar refers to the earthly appearance of a deity, but I’m using it to describe the mental presence of someone who isn’t physically there.

Whether visible or invisible, an avatar can be a powerful tool for you.

You’ve probably seen the endless parade of books invoking the wisdom of “admirable” figures: Jesus, the Green Berets, Navy SEALs, Abraham Lincoln, Sun Tzu—you name it. Science backs this up. (If you’re curious, check out Jonathan Haidt’s work.) Our intuition is heavily influenced by those we admire. Fun fact: intuition precedes reasoning. In plain English, we often decide what we believe first and then find ways to justify it. (No, you’re not special. You do this, too.)

Here’s the kicker: some of your beliefs are flat-out wrong. Worse, they’re probably harmful to you and others. And no, you’re not going to spot them on your own. (Another shameless plug for having a coach—it’s literally our job to help you with this!)

But here’s the good news: you’re not completely at the mercy of your intuition. You can learn, grow, and reshape your beliefs and behaviors. The goal? Aligning with reality. (It’s a good look for any CEO.)

Enter Jim

 So, what does this have to do with Jim? Glad you asked.

Jim is one of my avatars. He also happened to be my father-in-law. Let me tell you about him:

Jim was a widower with four kids when he married my wife’s mother, a widow with six kids. (Yes, you read that right—ten kids under one roof.) He was a WWII Army Air Corps colonel. He grew up dirt poor but worked his way up to become an insurance company executive.

He swore like a sailor, went to church every week, and had a heart the size of Texas—as long as you weren’t, in his words, “a goddamn son-of-a-bitch.” Even into his eighties, Jim could work like a mule.

When I’m stuck or need to check myself, I ask Jim—though he’s long since passed—what he would do (or would have done).

The Avatar Effect

 A great way to understand someone is to ask them who they admire and why. I do this often with my coaching clients. Since I work exclusively with senior executives, I typically ask about business leaders.

More often than not, one of their admired figures excels at something the executive wants to improve. This is where the magic happens. The question “How would [insert avatar] handle this?” becomes their go-to tool for self-assessment.

(Pro tip: keep this conversation internal, unless you want your team wondering if you’ve lost it.)

You’re not limited to one avatar, either. Create a mental board of directors. Call upon the right one for the situation at hand.

Practice Makes Perfect

 Here’s the challenge: give this a try, but stick with it. Like any habit, repetition is key. Over time, the practice will become second nature.

I’m pretty sure Jim would approve.

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